When I saw this product at the grocery store...



"Made with Fairy Dust and Princess Kisses" ...

... my immediate thought was of the monstrous working conditions.  Slave labour camps for the princesses and fairies, assuming that the fairies aren't incorporated directly into the product.  Princesses in agony from being forced to pucker for hours on end.

Perhaps someone could do a movie about their liberation.

Listening to a Trump "press conference" is remarkably like hearing the other half of a Bob Newhart phone call sketch.

"... No, sir, the 1918 Spanish Flu epidemic was a bit later than 1917."

"... But not as late as World War II.  No, sir."

"... 'Second World War'?  Sure, you can call it that if you want, sir.  It means the same thing."

"... No, 'Corinthians' doesn't work that way. ... I don't know why not."

I've been poking at this for a few days, inspired by the recent "Special Performance of "Rainbow Connection" from Kermit the Frog"  video. I'm considering swapping my own audio into that video, though I'm not having much luck finding or creating a banjo accompaniment to match.

It's intended to be somewhat self-referential and meta. I'm trying to get the scansion good but am not fussed about it being imperfect.

---

The COVID Connection
by Joel Polowin, 2020, TTo: The Rainbow Connection by Paul Williams and Kenneth Ascher

Why are there so many songs about COVID
And why do they fill my queue?
People are lonely, and bored, and creative
And people need something to do
Sharing a video's really not hideous
Getting it perfect's a plus
Someday we'll beat it, the coronavirus
The doctors, the nurses, and us

Who said that ev'ryone should stay social-distanced
When physical space is key?
People are socialized, we need to have contact
Or we'll all go crazy
Pigs, frogs and humans need something to do when
The show's closed and we mustn't cuss
Someday we'll beat it, the coronavirus
The doctors, the nurses, and us

All of us singing out loud
And putting our stuff out on YouTube

Have you been net-surfing, and have you heard voices?
I figure that's why you're here
Is this a parody protected as satire?
Just watch this and hold my root beer
Spirits are feeling a need for some healing
And music is miraculous
Someday we'll beat it, the coronavirus
The doctors, the nurses, and us

Yesterday morning, CBC Radio's national Sunday-morning show played a piece by musical satirist and comedian Randy Rainbow: "Putin and the Ritz".  (Trump is orange.  And round and flaky.)  I went to his YouTube channel and found lots more, such as "Fact Checker, Fact Checker".  Lovely stuff.
 

Sad Stephen I saw sitting all alone
Purging his flock all down the mountain side

I still need to do a headstone with "Requiesce In Purgatorio", but I have a few days left.
 

STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION

SERIES 1 EPISODE 2:  "THE NAKED NOW"

[...]

Yar: What I want now is gentleness.  And joy... and love.  From you, Data; you are fully functional, aren't you?

Data: Of course, but...

Yar: How fully?

Data: In every way, of course.  I am programed in multiple techniques.  A broad variety of pleasuring.

Yar: Oh!  You jewel, that's exactly what I hoped!

Data: I have found that the articles in Cosmo vary little from month to month.

Yar: That's more than I wanted to know.  Get in here.
 

Lord Chancellor: Allow me, as an old Equity draftsman, to make a suggestion. The subtleties of the legal mind are equal to the emergency. The thing is really quite simple – the insertion of a single word will do it. Let it stand that every fairy shall die who doesn’t marry a mortal, and there you are, out of your difficulty at once!

– Gilbert & Sullivan, Iolanthe

fags dammit
tea dammit